Welcome.
My name is Wylie Goodman. I'm a psychologist in New York City. Recently, I
appeared as a guest expert on
The Montel Williams Show and on the show's
Web site.
I created my own site in order to share information about books, resources,
and services that I've found helpful in my work with clients and as a way
to offer therapy to a broader spectrum of people, especially those who
don't have a psychologist in their local community.
At the top of this site, I've included a few quotes I find inspiring. Words
have the power to affect us deeply. The words we say to ourselves can
influence our self-perception. Those we speak out loud literally give voice
to our deepest hopes and desires. And the words we direct toward other
people can affect their attitude towards us, as well as their own
self-perception, if they take our words to heart. It's no coincidence that
people often forget the pain they experienced from a physical injury, yet
easily recall hurtful words directed toward them years before.
Therapy is largely based on words. You go to an office, talk on the phone,
or communicate via the Internet with a therapist and, for 50 minutes or so,
exchange words. You describe what's on your mind, and the therapist offers
words of empathy, advice, insight, and so on. Through this simple dialogue,
change is supposed to take place.
But lately I've found that words, powerful as they are, often aren't enough
to bring about concrete life changes. In order to do that, we need more
than to hear new or different words, we need to take new or different
actions. That may seem obvious, but it can be difficult if you've been
behaving a certain way for most of your life.
One way to think about this is through the metaphor of music: you can talk
about playing the piano forever, but unless you sit down and practice,
you'll never get to Carnegie Hall!
How do you stay motivated to practice when you're learning a new or
difficult technique? By keeping focused on your purpose, learning to accept
your unpleasant feelings, and re-committing yourself to doing what needs to
be done, not despite, but along side, the challenges that arise.
And what about when you're making concrete life changes?
One of the best ways I've found is through a form of therapy called
Constructive Living. It's an approach that emphasizes action over talk,
behavior over thoughts, and attention and purpose over feelings.
It's also an approach that can be combined with traditional therapies to
make them more effective.
I talk more about Constructive Living and my approach to therapy in
Frequently Asked Questions.
- Wylie Goodman, Psy.D.
